What would Deb do next?

We all cope and deal with loss, trauma and stress in different ways.

Since the last blog (thanks for your support, by the way!) I finished reading Frankie Boyle’s autobiography – my dad found it in a charity shop and correctly thought it would give me a laugh…

In it there is a passage where Frankie describes how, towards the end of a 135 date Mock The Week tour (and close to losing their minds), the touring team decide to make decisions solely based on what Bruce Springsteen would do in any scenario as a means of surviving…

“We would waste quite a bit of time arguing about whether Bruce Springsteen would get a sandwich from a garage, or whether he’d try to find a restaurant in the next town”

Maybe this is a thing?!!

Don’t get me wrong, the Boss is great and everything but he is no Deborah James!

Have any of you been asking ‘what would Deb do’?

When I met Deb I was gym-sceptical, I had no interest in that at all, none. Deb loved it though – she would come over after Combat class and be absolutely buzzing.

I moved to the gym-curious stage when she started taking me to the spa at her gym – not sure what the health benefits of holding hands and smiling a lot in the sauna are but I was beginning to see that gyms could actually be excellent fun and not that terrifying.

Since Deb left us I have a gaping hole in my life, we all do.

Initially I filled a lot of that with work and drinking – brilliant friends who want to be there, to listen, to try and help me through… But Deb wasn’t a big drinker and she wouldn’t spend too long feeling sorry for herself (she never did) so…

What would Deb do?

Get down the gym!

Obviously Deb was a member of the classier gym, I’ve signed up for something a bit more to my level and budget… but, in spite of the very real prospect of a full-blown midlife crisis, I’m surprised to discover that I am really getting into it!

Training in the gym and listening to music feels like exactly what Deb would do. We both love music – we shared it, danced and sang together – loved it together.

I’ve found the perfect tune for Deb:

‘I Adore You’ by Goldie

I know Deb would love this tune – first and foremost it’s a love song. Powerful female vocals over drum and bass, a beautiful and perfect message – please give it a listen and let me know what you think…

(I welcome any inspirational training tunes suggestions, I may need them!)

On the wall in the gym there is a Bruce Lee quote: ‘Defeat is a state of mind’ – Deb was a winner and her strength and positivity always shone through – I think of Deb and I just keep going.

defeat is a state of mind 2


So, apart from training herself into a sweaty mess, what else would Deb do now?

Deb would definitely be throwing herself into work too…

Frankie has been as busy as a bee with Jane and Anita and many of Deb’s friends in setting up the Cancer in the Workplace business offering consultancy and training services to support businesses and individuals faced with the huge range of issues surrounding cancer in the workplace.

The levels of enthusiasm and goodwill that surround this project are at times overwhelming and it is developing a real momentum – we will keep you updated as Frankie gets closer to the launch.

Suffice it to say, at every step of the way we are considering what we think Deb would do and would want (there is a lot of blue being used in designs!) so we look forward to sharing this with you very soon.

Frankie and the team are determined to realise Deb’s dream, so let’s close on the perfect quote:

“Dream big, work hard, stay focused and surround yourself with good people”


Frankie and Deb

Frankie and Deb!


4 thoughts on “What would Deb do next?

  1. Debs always thought of the future, she never gave up her commitment to anything she wanted to do. She was never scared of cancer, she was determind to defeat it. Unfortunatley the fate of god arrived early, way too early . Great blog Simon, well done.


  2. Wonderful post. I met Debs just the once sadly, but she was so nice and really inspirational. I must tell you Simon that she told me the story of the first CD that you bought her, and how at first she didn’t have the heart to tell you that she had no way of playing CDs. As she told me this she would break out into her lovely infectious laugh. Keep going Simon there is no right or wrong way to deal with bereavement…


    1. Hiya Tim – I told my mate that story only yesterday… HAHAHA!!! Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it… watch this space – Frankie is very busy and we will have something to share via the blog very soon!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s