“Life is like a box of chocolates…..

You never know which one you’re gonna get “- the fine words of Forrest Gump. I love that film. 

  
Photo courteous of Hotel Chocolat

Now I’ve been reflecting on this quote – it’s true no matter what type of person we are; whether it’s a planner/orgainser, last minute.com, or just fly ‘by the seat of the pants’ kind of person –  things come by in our life that’s out of our control. A bit like when you pick a chocolate and not knowing what’s inside.

Now some things that come along in life are amazing – winning the lottery, being blessed with a child, being happy, finding love and a soulmate (to name a few). Other things can be a bit more of a challenge and Cancer is up there at the top (in my opinion). 

I fit into the category of planner/organiser – at 35 I haven’t thought past the next 5 years to be honest. My life is very busy generally, well it was very busy until the big C came along and put the brakes on (just slightly).

It never even entered my head that I would get Cancer, it’s one of those things that seem to happen to everyone else. Even whilst I write this and I’m 3 months post diagnosis news it’s still hard to believe. 

So I picked the coffee cream (or it picked me) – not my favourite chocolate – so now it’s all about survival – a key basic human instinct. 

When planning the next 5 years or so I’m factoring in percentages – I’ve been given a 75% chance of beating Cancer and I know that’s a good percentage, others are no so lucky……

My aunt was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer and only lived for around 10 months – it’s her birthday today and the first anniversary of her death next week. She was the most amazing woman – and when I attended her funeral in Dublin, Ireland I was blown away by the amount of people that showed up – the whole experience whilst very emotional, really touched me and I know Helen’s keeping a close watch over the whole family. 

So life’s given me this challenge – this coffee cream, what’s my response? To fight it – I’m going to do everything I can to be part of that 75%. I’m also going to live my life, all the things I’ve wanted to do, things that have stopped me (for whatever reason) I’m now putting into action:

– Start my own business – it’s been on my to do list for about 5 years now. Yet when I sat in Oncology back in June I thought what am I waiting for?? So I’m going to make a go of it. What have I got to lose?

– Go to San Francisco. I’ve always wanted to visit Alcatraz so whilst I have no money at the moment, we are going  next year! I’m gonna make it happen (somehow).

– Buy our dream house – well I’m thinking Bungalow (we live in an apartment so can’t be doing with stairs). Big garden, office at the bottom and needing a bit of love. Now this is more longer term – as with no money, a trip to San Fran, a new business and saving up to move its going take a few years!!

– Enjoy each day – this is now my mantra, and whilst it’s really difficult to do this when I’m on a bad chemo day, I remember I’m a step closer to being part of that 75% every time I have a session. 

I’m sure I’ll have more, but these are enough to get me through the next 5 months of treatment. 

So what chocolates have you picked that’s challenged you? And what’s stopping you from doing all the things you want to do in life?  We only have one chance let’s make it count!!!!

Deborah x

**💐 – for my aunt Helen, a truly inspirational person**

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